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A hardship fund forMarilyn and dogs, Bella & Vinnie

$11,375 given of $15,000 goal

Facing Homelessness With My Pets

Started by: Marilyn Winders

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For those of you on Twitter that know me, know that for the past few months I have only been able to survive with the kindness of strangers as I wait for a

Disability claim.In April of 2017, just a week before May Rent was due, my husband of 15 years, Celso

left me with nothing.He went to work and never returned.He went to live with his boss at the little

store across the street from where we live.After all, she could offer him work, and money.I had lost my job of

13 years at a local University doing Janitorial work after the school downsized and brought in

cheaper labor. I had spent most of my life doing that kind of work though and it had taken it's toll on me. I

have severe nerve damage in my legs and pain in my knees and back.I couldn't find another job.No one

wants a broken down, middle aged woman who can't be on her feet all day and with no technical skills,

it made the changes even less so.My unemployment ran out and I didn't think much of it because Celso

was working a lot and I knew that in a few years I could get my Social Security and maybe take

some classes to find another job.It didn't quite work out like that though.When Celso left, I

felt like I couldn't breathe.I had given up everything to be with him.My friends and family didn't approve of him

because he was from Mexico.But then everything came crashing back.I began to have seizures and dizzy spells. The doctors told me that it was brought on by a combination of anxiety and depression. Panic attacks soon became normal, afraid of going outside and seeing Celso across the street and afraid of going somewhere and having a seizure.One if the last things that Celso said to me was that I needed to be put in a home.Maybe he is right but that is not what I wanted.I applied last year for Disability and in September made my first Appeal.When President Trump took office, so many people applied for Disability that the backlog could take up to 600 days. I didn't plan for that or any of this. I need your help to stay in my home for the next few months and I need help taking care of my two little dogs. I want a better life. I don't want to end up homeless like so many here have. I know with my Health problems, I wouldn't live long. I need your help.We need your help.Thank You

Latest Update

It's been a really tough few weeks.I had my first appointment at OHSU with my new doctor.Most of the appointment was spent talking and signing forms to apply for Medical transportation.My next appointment isn't until October.I can talk to my doctor before that via a virtual visit.I have never done that before.I am seeing a different doctor in October because of tests I'm signed up for.I guess this will be the beginning..or the end.It's already the middle of the month & I am looking at no donations yet...not one.I have rent, $1075 & the electric bill, $178 to worry about.My dog Vinnie became really sick last week & thanks to friends, I was able to take him to the Vet. He was shaking & pacing & panting.He doesn't like putting weight on his front legs.His legs start shaking.And last but not least, a dear friend died. Like me, he lived alone with two little furs.I haven't stopped crying which hasn't been good for my health.I have seizures at night & then throw up.I need your help..TY❤

Posted by Marilyn

August 14 at 1:36am

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Just a short update to let you know that we only have 10 DAYS before rent is due. A few weeks ago I had a large seizure that caused me to fall on the kitchen chair that I sit on to watch TV causing it to break and this last Saturday I had another large seizure and when I tried to get up, came crashing down and broke my phone.My worrys are great and the donations are becoming few. I don't know what to do but to open my heart and ask for your help. We are still short $890 and donations to my fundraiser will not get to me in time.So I am asking you to donate what you can to our PayPal account since it's become an urgent situation. We love you...Bella,Vinnie & Mom 🐩🐕👗🙏 PayPal.me/BellaandVinnie

Posted by Marilyn

July 26 at 3:54pm

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Another month is passing me by. It's been two years of living as if this day is my last. I keep hoping that I will make it long enough to let Bella & Vinnie have a home before they go OTRB. Bella will be 12 soon. It's not so much her that I worry about, but Vinnie. He will be 8. It's his temperament. He doesn't like other dogs and he doesn't like humans (except me). He would just be put down.He tolerates Bella, but even she knows when to stay away. He is messed up by no fault of his own. So I am begging you to help. If not for me and my declining health but so these dogs can have a home with someone who loves them so much. I have my first real appointment with a real doctor in a few weeks. It's a beginning, but please don't let it be the end. If we loose our home, none of it will matter. All of this will have been for nothing. Two years of seizures, depression, anxiety, mobility issues and waiting for Disability would have been for nothing. Thank you for your love. 🐩🐕👗

Posted by Marilyn

July 19 at 3:36pm

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Two Days/Saturday and Sunday/June 22nd and 23rd to help us through our Fundraiser. A check would be sent on Monday/June 24 and take a week to get to us. After that you can help us through our PayPal at PayPal.me/BellaandVinnie for the month of June. Please keep us together and help us with everyday essentials. Thank you! Love, Bella, Vinnie and Mom

Posted by Marilyn

June 22 at 3:56pm

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We are halfway through the month and we are once again in desperate times. We managed to get our Electric paid down a little and the rest put on a time payment, which means it was divided up by 12 and will be added to the regular monthly bill. Thank you to those who donated and made that possible. Now I have to worry about rent. I have a $150 donation towards that but still need $850. I finally received my medical card allowing me to go to Oregon Health Sciences University. I called yesterday and asked for a woman doctor. The only one taking new patients didn't have an appointment until August 5th. They are sending a campus map and information in the mail which I will share when it comes. A part of me is excited and a part of me is terrified. The young intern who has cared for me at the clinic is connected to this hospital so I am hoping he can connect with my new doctor and figure out what is wrong with me. It will be a relief either way. I am still waiting on Disability. Thank you❣

Posted by Marilyn

June 14 at 3:53pm

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Received my Medical Card but didn't like my choices for my Primary Care. The young intern who has been caring for me at Outside In is from Oregon Health Sciences University. I really wanted to go there. They have a good Geriatric Department and lots of research going on for MS. We still don't know if that is what I have but I have to start somewhere. Yesterday a lady called from there saying they had a opening and wanted to know if I still wanted OHSU as my Primary Care. So now I am waiting for my new Medical Card and off I go. It's not close but after I get started, my Doctor can request I be put in the Medical Transportation Program. I want to say that I am excited, but I am scared. I am still having seizures at night and it's getting harder to get around. I worry all the time about loosing my house. I feel forgotten at times especially when the end of the month is so near and I am so far from being able to pay just rent and electric. I am only a fourth of the way there. Please Help

Posted by Marilyn

May 21 at 4:10pm

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18 days left until another months rent is due. The electric bill is due even sooner. I only have $174 to pay ( 2 Donations through my Fundraiser and 1 through PayPal). I know a lot you are scrambling to pay your taxes, but it's much more than that for us. It's a home, a roof over our heads, a place to call our own and stay together. It's something I will very much need over the coming months. My medical started on the first, then another letter came telling me that I would be covered for medical, mental and dental services. Now I am waiting for the packet to arrive that allows me to pick my provider. I can't wait to be on this journey. Please help us get through this month. Anything would be greatly appreciated. Any extra would go towards cabs to get to medical until I am approved for the medical cab service. I will be 61 on May 11th and this is never how I imagined it would be, but I have all of you and that is better than I could have hoped for. Thank you! Love, Bella, Vinnie & Mom

Posted by Marilyn

April 16 at 7:50pm

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I am now a proud member of the Oregon Health Plan. Now begins my path forward. I went to my Medical Clinic on Friday and for the first time I didn't have to pay out of pocket. I am still waiting for my packet to arrive that gives me my choices for my provider. Once I have that, my clinic doctor will be able to get things started to get a diagnosis not just so I can get my Disability but so I will have peace of mind. I hope you will be on this journey with me. I hope you will still be there to help keep my family together. I hope you will still be there to virtually hold my hand because I am really scared. My 61st birthday is in a few weeks and of course all that I want is to be able to stay in my home with my dogs Bella and Vinnie. The bar is pretty low but I guess I should be setting the bar high now that I am on this journey. I will keep you informed.I love all of you. Thank You ❤

Posted by Marilyn

April 7 at 4:14pm

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I went to my health clinic Outside In yesterday and saw a young Doctor who is interning there for part of his medical training. He was particularly interested in me because he will be a specialist in Geriatric Care. He spent a lot of time going over what was wrong with me and helped me apply for the Oregon Health Plan online with one of the computers since you can't do it over a Smartphone. After making a timeline of things I remember, he said he would like to talk to his colleagues at Oregon Health Sciences University. He made another appointment for me in two weeks. He said by then I should hear something about the Oregon HP. He thinks that I may have MS . Unfortunately there is no one test to do for MS and I have probably had it for years and just thought it was from work or getting older, but the extreme stress that caused the seizures when Celso left, put it in a tailspin. The symptoms got worse.He doesn't want to wait any longer for testing because of my age. There is no cure.

Posted by Marilyn

March 23 at 4:51pm

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I only have 15 days until rent is due and 4 days until the electric bill is due with little or no Donations. Tomorrow I have a Doctor's appointment which I may not be able to attend because my ability to even get to the bus is getting harder and harder. I feel like I am in one of those dreams where the hallway gets longer and longer. I can't breathe because of the anxiety I am having because my left foot stubs the ground and I know that I will fall.If I had anything to spare, I would take a cab but I don't even have half of what I will need for rent. Sunday will be the last day you can help us through the Fundraiser in order for the check to get to us on time. After that if you want to help, you can do it through our PayPal at PayPal.me/BellaandVinnie. Any help is appreciated, even retweeting our cause. Thank you ❤

Posted by Marilyn

March 21 at 3:33pm

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Today Is The LAST DAY To Help Us Get March's Rent Through Our Fundraiser. The Check Gets Sent On Monday And Takes A Week To Get To My Mailbox. If You Help Us After Today, Then Send It To: PayPal.me/BellaandVinnie We Still Need $606 By March 5th At Midnight. Any Help To Keep Us Together 🐩 🐕👗 Is Appreciated. Thank You❤

Posted by Marilyn

February 24 at 5:13pm

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It's been awhile since I've updated & this month is swooshing by, just as life is.About 2 weeks ago, I fell in my kitchen.Just picture that old lady in that TV ad who is laying on the floor and can't get up.That was me.I have a pretty sturdy kitchen stool with a hand bar to hold on to, but my nerve damaged leg decided to completely skip the bottom step on my journey down & I went crashing down to the floor.The dogs were running around me & barking. I just had to lay there.A few days later I fell on the ice outside.It hasn't been a fun few weeks.I ended up with bruises & lots of pain. I am still having seizures at night.I haven't been to see a doctor.I just don't have enough money to do that when I don't even have enough to pay this next months rent. I am not even half way there. I need your help. We need your help.🐩🐕👗ty💗

Posted by Marilyn

February 20 at 5:51pm

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Time is running out and I have never been so scared. I talked to my Lawyer on Friday because I wanted to know what was going to happen with my Disability Appeal with the Government Shutdown. He said that even though it had ended, that I could expect 3-6 months of extra wait time and if it continues again, that I could expect a added year. I don't have another year to wait. I won't make it that long. He said that I have to find a way to get to the doctor more.It was adamant that I get a medical history. Without that history, I wouldn't qualify. That means asking for extra money. I already have a hard time getting enough to pay rent and electricity, which is why I am updating this. Last month I had to pay my rent late which meant an extra $100. I am only half way to February rent at this point. I really need help. Today is the last day to donate to my Fundraiser in order for the check to get to me in time. After today you can send it to my PayPal Account. Thank you so much.

Posted by Marilyn

January 27 at 6:08pm

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The days are flying by with little or no hope. We are already behind. I was behind when I went to pay rent on Monday, late and with a late fee of $100 that could have went to February's rent. Now I have nothing to go towards another months rent and electric bill. Things are getting harder. I don't have anything for medical appointments. No visits to the doctor doesn't look good for my disability claim. My nightly seizures continue and if there is an emergency, I will just have to hope that I can survive it without help. I need your help now. I can't let the days and weeks go by and hope that we have a roof over our heads. I never thought that I would have to beg for my very survival, but I am. We need you to live and to stay together. Thank you.

Posted by Marilyn

January 9 at 4:26pm

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Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. This time of year use to be a happy one, but now it's just a time of worry. I still need $400 to pay my rent. A generous donor took care of the Electric Bill, but we still have to worry about having a home in the New Year. I have to worry about rent and hoping to have enough to be able to make it to Outside In for medical needs. I know it's a lot to ask and a lot to hope for, but that's our Christmas Wish. I know you have helped so much this past year. We would already be separated and without a roof over our head. I am sure we might not even be here at all. This is our wish, that you will care enough or love us enough to help us until we can stand on our feet, until we get our Disability, until we have hope. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Posted by Marilyn

December 23 at 5:38pm

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The night time seizures are increasing.A plastic lined bucket resides near my pillows now for throwing up.Wednesday I spent most of the morning at the Health Clinic.I waisted money on a cab because I was too afraid to try walking to the bus stop.I say "waisted" because it's money I need to pay this next months rent & electric bills.I barely made it last month & this month looks bleaker.My regular Doctor wasn't there & so it felt like I was starting over with someone thumbing through my information.She thought I should be admitted to the Hospital where I could be observed overnight & more tests could be run.I told her I couldn't leave my two little dogs alone.I can't leave Bella & Vinnie w/out care.I have no one.We are halfway through December w/barely even a fourth of what we need for the bills.I know all of you are busy Christmas shopping & spending time w/family & friends, but PLEASE don't forget us during the holiday season. Thank you xo

Posted by Marilyn

December 16 at 5:36pm

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Another month with Rent & Electric paid, but still not enough to go to the Medical Clinic on a regular basis.They want me to go at least twice a week to get me to a place where the world doesn't effect my psyche so much.. coping mechanisms.They don't have any hope besides that to offer me unless I can scrape up enough money to start alternative things like Acupuncture and Meditation. I was in free fall last weekend when the shooting at Pittsburgh happened. I spent that night crying and shaking and then had a large seizure that left me pinned to the floor unable to get up.Everytime I tried,the room would spin. I finally crawled to the kitchen and stayed there all night.It's been three weeks with no Fundraiser Check, only 2 people donated which makes me think that my end is near.How will I survive on the streets with my current health problems?It feels like it's getting closer and closer to loosing my home and Winter is coming. I am terrified and need your help.

Posted by Marilyn

November 5 at 5:13pm

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Saturday I fell down the bottom steps of the stairs in my house.It wasn't a seizure or a dizzy spell, but the leg with nerve damage that seems to have a mind of its own. I spent most of yesterday glad that it happened at home and not out in public like it has so many times before.My mind that sees the steps or curb and is suppose to send a message to my leg and foot just doesn't work. I never know when. I usually grip the handrail tightly,but sometimes I forget that I am not like everyone else.Its from years of doing Janitorial work.The seizures are ongoing and like so many other Americans, I am still waiting for Disability. I never dreamed after so many years of working and paying my taxes that once I would need help, that this is how I would be treated.So I still need your help..WE NEED YOUR HELP to stay together with a roof over our head, especially with the cold months of Winter ahead. Thank You All

Posted by Marilyn

September 30 at 9:44am

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Maria Elisa — 1 year ago

Please help me https://www.plumfund.com/medical-fund/funds-for-treatment-of-my-uncle

The Summer months are flying by and soon Autumn will be upon us.The months have not been kind.It will be a year in September since my appeal for Disability had been sent.It could be another year before I get my Court Date.Meanwhile I wait and my Health continues to get worse. I keep having seizures at night.Maybe because everything I worry about during the day comes to light at night. I had a large seizure last Tuesday going up the stairs to my bathroom.All I could do was hold on to the banister and pray not to fall.Vinnie kept barking at me.When I could, I made it the rest of the way up the steps and stayed on the landing the rest of the day. I am supposed to be going every week to Counseling to control the demons in my head and classes to learn to focus more during my down times so it doesn't turn into a seizure. The money to go hasn't been there, even the money for bus fare hasn't been there. I guess that is my biggest demon...money. I am only halfway to another months rent.Please H

Posted by Marilyn

August 26 at 8:55am

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My Depression became apparent in High School when I tried to commit suicide by taking my Mom's sleeping pills.It was the first of many attempts.My parents were too embarrassed so I was never hospitalized. I think I was always sad though. I don't remember ever feeling what I call happy until I got my first dog Pedro who went OTRB in 2014.When he died I noticed my Health declining and just not caring any more.Even though I had my beautiful Bella, it was Pedro who went to work with me and opened up the world.Now it's Vinnie who stays by my side and protects me when I get sick.I am so far from having what I need to pay my rent and electric bill. The month is halfway over so I am really worried.Worried about keeping Jack's Promise that this family will stay together and that people will care enough to keep us on our journey until I get my Disability. I hope that is true. I never dreamed that being 60 would be so hard.😞

Posted by Marilyn

July 16 at 11:38am

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It was 100 degrees yesterday & I kept thinking about how hard life has gotten & how much harder it will be if I end up on the street.It's been a year now since I was abandoned. When ever I have to go somewhere, I know that waiting for me on the other side of the door are two of the most adorable faces that I have ever seen.How can someone walk away from that? How can someone just walk away without a word? Doesn't he see us? Doesn't his heart feel anything?My depression didn't start that night, but the pain started the seizures which are on going.They are only small tremors that usually only happen at night when I am sleeping.When I get really upset or worried, I have really large ones that cause me to black out and cause me to crash to the floor.The weather slows me down and makes me tired which is why I know I would never make it on the street.The dogs wouldn't make it either and I couldn't watch them suffer and die.Bella may have a chance to get adopted again, but not Vinnie.(Part 1)

Posted by Marilyn

July 16 at 11:06am

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Saturday I had two major seizures. I felt like a large bolder was holding me down. I was scared enough this time to want to call 911, but I couldn't even crawl to the desk in my dining room to retrieve my phone. I just curled up in a ball and closed my eyes, hoping like all the other times that it wasn't my time and I would wake up and see Bella and Vinnie again.Monday I went to my Clinic without an appointment which meant spending most of the day waiting for a few tests and getting a appointment for next Monday with the Phycologist. I just feel so tired and weak and scared.There are only 10 days until another months rent is due.It's getting harder and harder to hang on.Lifes stress is killing me.The only thing giving me hope is the little home I am in and my two little dogs and all of you, hoping that you care and love us enough to help while I wait for Disability.Thank You. XOXOXOXOXO

Posted by Marilyn

June 20 at 8:30am

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I was up most of the night sick.When I got up to use the bathroom, I came crashing to the ground.The room was spinning and I could see Vinnie jumping up and down around me. I couldn't move once I was down so I just stayed there and closed my eyes not knowing if I would still be alive in the morning.I just felt like giving up wondering if my two little Furs and I would make it through the next couple of months.My 60th Birthday came and went with no donations. I received one $10 donation 3 days ago do a check for $9+ will be on its way tomorrow which will cost me $5 to cash. I am sure that no one will be thinking of me this Mother's Day. I hope you will because I have no one else.My own Mother died in 2007.She and I became estranged in 2002 when I married Celso, so I never saw her in her last days.Please Retweet and donate if you can.Thank You

Posted by Marilyn

May 13 at 9:25am

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Part Two Continuing on my life this last week. I received an email with my new Lease (starting in August)and my Rent is going up $50.My food stamps went down from $198 to $144 because I did the honest thing and reported my Fundraiser. I have today to get enough for rent (another $300)if it's to reach my mail box in time. The checks are sent out on Monday and take a week to get to me.If anyone can help me reach my goal today and keep me and my two dogs in our home while I wait on my Disability, I would be forever grateful. I can't imagine being on the streets with the health problems I have. I will be 60 on May 11th.This is not how I wanted to spend my Golden Years.Thank You

Posted by Marilyn

April 29 at 9:29am

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Well, this has been one of the hardest weeks in my life.Not knowing for sure if I was going to have enough for the bills or simple things like bus money.Time is running out. I have to have enough by Sunday in time for the check they post to me on Monday. I went to the Health Clinic on Tuesday to talk about my seizures which seem to be on the increase, mostly at night.There isn't much that they know about PNES.They are trying to find out what my "triggers" could be for having seizures or ways to control the events.My doctor says that I need to take mental control of the events in my life and live a more balanced life.😰 I think that means more doing and less thinking.Things like Acupuncture, meditation, deep breathing, yoga...All of those things cost money though. I told the doctor it cost so much to just live day to day.He didn't think that I should move until I get my Disability. The stress would be too much for me.Trying to come up with first,last & deposits plus paying for help.

Posted by Marilyn

April 28 at 11:57am

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Once again I find myself asking, no begging for your help. I told my Doctor that I am never going to get better. I can't stop worrying.So at night when I drift off to sleep, exhausted by the stress, I know they are coming.No, not the monsters from a dream, but the shaking that feels like I am trapped in some cold place without a coat to keep me warm.Vinnie stays right by my side until I fall asleep or have to throw up.Why does the Government make it so hard to survive? Even local agencies like Northwest Pilot Project that helps Seniors can't help me.There are too many people like me and they can't help with Rental Assistance unless you have a verified future income.They can help me get into a Shelter if I become homeless but not with the dogs.It seems like years since my Disability Appeal, but it's only been months. I won't make it without help from you.Thank You for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

Posted by Marilyn

April 12 at 10:52am

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It's halfway through another month and I only have $215 towards a looming $950 April rent payment and a $146.74 Electric Bill that is due on March 27th.My health continues to deteriorate with more seizures. I continue to see my Doctor at Outside In and continue to get nowhere. I decided to approach my life like so many do with Disabilities and just except it.My seizures are complex in that they are caused by things in my mind that I can't stop or control. It's like getting old. I will be 60 in May.The one thing I can't except through all of this is the possibility of loosing my puppies while I wait on Disability.The possibility of having to call Vinnie's Foster Mom in Eastern Oregon and say, "Come and get Vinnie and Bella".I am asking, no, begging you for help.Thank You for your love and support.

Posted by Marilyn

March 15 at 9:34am

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  • Mr John Davies1 week ago Best wishes.
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  • Christie M Huff6 weeks ago Love you sweetie!! Wish it could be more!!!
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  • Linda J. Page8 weeks ago Hope this helps!
  • John Davies11 weeks ago Best wishes.
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