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Make Your Own!
Started by: Matt Chandronait
SCIENCE! It's a miracle of human endeavor! And, thanks to this miracle, we're just about to add another human to the planet Earth! Why? Well, like every other great scientific achievement in history: BECAUSE WE CAN.
That reason is inexplicably unsatisfactory to insurance providers, and thus funding opportunities have been less than extant. BUT, great science will not be held up by mealy-mouthed office drones who’s only partially-functional reason for existence is as funneling agents for our hard-earned money into a few greedy CEOs at the top of the pyramid scheme we all laughingly call the “Health Care System.” No! It will continue apace and without regard to either practicality or cost!
Our epic journey of growth and discovery has been entirely self-funded, and while the results will no doubt speak for themselves (someday literally!), we are at a funding impasse and have decided to turn to the broader scientific community to help us continue this endeavor past the next–and imminently pending–paradigm shift.
While jokingly dubbed “Project Baby Shark” (something about a disappearing–possibly cannibalized–twin), the final name has yet to be determined. But, if the long, hard road leading to this point is an indicator of the tenacity necessary for future success, then we are in for a naming of such astounding quality that no one will ever name their kid Matt again for fear of embarrassment at such abject mundanity!
Launch into the future with us and leave behind the dull prospects of a never-changing world! Project Baby Shark will doubtlessly be chaotic, but it will also yield beauty, boundless love, and an undying hope for the future with every abundant day.
FOR SCIENCE!
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If you’re on this page, you probably already know who we are and our story (probably because we sent you the link), but here’s a quick recap: two hefty fights with cancer left us with few opportunities to grow our family; all of which were expensive. It’s been a multi-year odyssey to get where we’re at, but we’re finally about to greet our new baby boy, and while we’d gladly fork over every cent we’ve ever made and ever will make in order to become parents, we still would like to enjoy some of the simple things in life (like not starving or having enough diapers). We also live in a very small apartment and thus a great many of the things people buy for the kids of other families aren’t practical for us. Instead, we’re hoping you have a couple extra dollars you can throw our way and we’ll sort it out ourselves. Or maybe just buy lots of vodka and gin. Either way.
But other than gin, we’re hoping to do a number of things with the funds collected here, here are some of the big ticket items we want to contribute to:
• Child/Daycare–single biggest expense we're facing in the coming years.
• A glider chair for nursing/cuddling
• Baby playmats/rugs (we only have hardwood floors)
• Baby-proofing (we’re first-time parents, so we’re bound to go overboard here)
• Doula and other birthing and post partum expenses.
• Apartment cleaning service
• Baby Shark Tour 2020™ – Coming soon to a grandparent or great-grandparent near you!
Yes, money is helpful (and unfortunately necessary), but we’ll also take any donations of love, well-wishes, and just general helpful vibes if you’ve got any to spare.
Finally, the only reason this page is even up is because of friends and family have asked us for it. How incredibly, wonderfully, fabulously lucky are we to have people in our lives literally asking for us to give them a way to give us money? If this thing only collects $10, we just want you to know that it is going to be the most cherished $10 we’ll have ever received in our lives.
THANK YOU for just being who you are. We never could have even gotten this far without each and every one of you.
<3 Forever. M & E
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